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I think the notion of 'time heals everything' is overstated and highly inaccurate. It's been too long now since that nightmare of a whirlwind. I should have known better, I shouldn't have stayed. I say it's your fault, but really it was mine too- I set boundaries I knew I could not keep and ignored the flashing red warning signals, you even told me to give up.
You told me you really liked me, but that your heart felt empty. You said perhaps one day you will love me just as I did, and so, I waited. I thought I could fix everything. I tore down the walls in my heart, and I let you in, praying one day that you would do the same. I held on, despite it hurting me bit by bit. The highest points were full of laughter and bickers and the points I remember most, the lowest, full of tears. This was all too much for me and I realised, I cannot and am not going to be the one who fills your heart. That is beyond me.
Personally, I try to not let relationship problems affect me very much but this one cut the deepest. Too many unsaid words, too many unfulfilled expectations, too much rejection. Even at the end of it all, there were too many things left unsettled. I found myself in a place I was unfamiliar with.
They say time heals everything,Yet I find myself back where I was few months ago with every reminder of you. Yet I still feel that surge of anger every time I talk to you or am reminded of you. Yet I still find myself angry at the fact that you have moved on so nonchalantly.
They say time heals everything,
But forgiveness does not come with time.
What I need is not time, what I need is a forgiving heart that only He can give.
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From the bottom of my heart, I hope someday you experience the joy that love brings.
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